Bagging the Cat's Hands

topic posted Sat, May 3, 2008 - 12:58 AM by  Mike C.
Share/Save/Bookmark
Advertisement
The faint anticipation of a clown arisen from of a small car on stilt legs
Obsessively compulsively imagining the unraveling
A virtually soft fish hook unspools
He elevates his dirt above the dirt
gagging on that Saint Christopher medal like dry swallowing a mega B vitamin for the first time
it's the fear that is the pep erasing the ignorance of the outcome that will happen like it's happening again
this banquet of perpetual surprise already an open book
He unknowingly brings a copy of his receipt to the doctors office
An electronic alimentary device reveals the sharp outline of a shampoo bottle

Don't tell me you're surprised
Your eyes betray you

Whisked out the back door like a celebrity hidden from the paparazzi
Someone has already given a nickname to this minor operation
The repressed memory is the one remembered best
Fished from his being like ambergris from a whale skull

Picture the water connoisseur wrinkling his nose at its mythic unremarkableness
Somewhere, the back seat of a ford tempo is overflowing with broken plastic laundry baskets
posted by:
Mike C.
Portland
Advertisement
Advertisement
  • Re: Bagging the Cat's Hands

    Sun, May 4, 2008 - 10:39 AM
    If you hadn't already proved yourself as a bad poet, I might have considered kicking you out for posting this thing.

    I call 'good poetry' on this one, you fucker.

    Anyone else?
    • Re: Bagging the Cat's Hands

      Mon, May 5, 2008 - 1:08 AM
      Well, if you categorize "good" as poetry most of us can't make any sense of, gee, I'd have to agree with you. Personally, it kind of reminded me of those random poetry generators...although a rather good one...uh, I mean...okay, maybe I'll shut up and think about writing bad poetry.

      Of course, it could be good...with years and years of education in poetry...I mean, I wouldn't know. I certainly would appreciate the moderator's reasoning for why it is a good poem...I mean so one suddenly find one's self booted from the forum with little notice. So, yeah, let's discuss this one a bit. Why do you say it's good? Is it damned good? Or damn good? I couldn't really say...yet.
      • Re: Bagging the Cat's Hands

        Mon, May 5, 2008 - 11:47 AM
        Sense can easily be made of it, provided we abandon the assumption that readers must make the same sense of it that the writer does.
        It's what I call an 'opaque narrative'. Consider that when someone writes the word 'sexy', we can all agree that we have some idea what is sexy and what isn't sexy, but when we start comparing what is sexy, we then find that we much disagree. A good writer only uses such a word when something is deliberately left up to the reader, even though the writer has a very clear idea of what such a word means to himself or to herself. With an opaque narrative, the majority of the 'real content' of the text is similarly left up to the reader. I like to think of it like hitting someone in the face with an object wrapped in something that conceals the object identity; even if the nose breaks and everyone agrees that hitting has occurred, there can continue to be disagreement and doubt about what struck the nose. In the case of opaque narratives, the object of uncertainty is a hard and heavy subtext.
        • Re: Bagging the Cat's Hands

          Mon, May 5, 2008 - 3:49 PM
          Yeah, but what if you don't even know or care that someone thinks they broke your nose? I mean, if you can't even give someone a love slap with your prose it isn't very good, right? I mean, walking around going, "Gee, I really knocked that guy out!" while the guy is still wandering around ignoring the fact that he's been "knocked for a loop" and society doesn't seem to notice or care about an alleged knocking about then what is the point? It's worthless. And, hence, bad poetry.
          • Re: Bagging the Cat's Hands

            Mon, May 5, 2008 - 7:37 PM
            Bad poems tend to have an opaque narrative anyway. This one is built to have an opaque narrative lead into bad content. Whether or not you think this is obvious is what decides how you evaluate this poem.

            The only reason you can say this is a good poem is because it's submitted where bad poetry is obvious. Evaluated anywhere poetry is held to high literary standards and it would be the gaggingly terrible poem it is because of the degree of literacy involved in describing the process of insertion and extraction of a bottle of Selsen Blue from some guy's ass. Paired with the obvious and then compared against the obvious later; the meaning of these high-sounding words within the poem and even their definition outside of the poem become altogether awful by design. The hard object you feel the opaque narrative wraps itself around is the poor use of the English language made uberpoor by its correct usage.

            Or in metaphor, the English language is this guy's asshole wrapped around a bottle of Selsen Blue.

            Really, the only reason you think it's a good poem is because despite all that; it's still a bad poem.
            • Re: Bagging the Cat's Hands

              Tue, May 6, 2008 - 1:54 AM
              Now, see, if you'd just tacked that all on to the end--if you'll pardon the expression there--then, maybe, it would have been considered bad to begin with...er, well, I really wouldn't know...being only a dilettante...

              Hey, how about change the title to something more interesting like "Selsen Blooze"?
              • Re: Bagging the Cat's Hands

                Tue, May 6, 2008 - 8:44 AM
                Whether you even understand or care to understand is not best criterion of good poetry, since modern people, at least, care so little even for the world's very best poetry. What matters is whether someone who reads it all the way through once will bother to do so again. If they generally will, it's a good poem.
  • Empaquetamiento de las manos del gato

    Wed, May 14, 2008 - 9:18 AM
    Hey, Mike-

    Do you mind if I do a musical setting of your poem in Spanish?

    I'm running it through The Fish for an insider cleanup by my Hispanophonic wife...


    La anticipación débil de un payaso presentado de un pequeño coche en las piernas del zanco Obsesivamente obligatoriamente imaginación de desenredar Un gancho de pescados virtualmente suave unspools Él eleva su suciedad sobre la suciedad el amordazar en esa medalla de Christopher de santo tiene gusto seco tragando una vitamina mega de B por primera vez it' s el miedo que es el pep que borra la ignorancia del resultado que sucederá como it' s que sucede otra vez este banquete de la sorpresa perpetua ya un libro abierto Él trae unknowingly una copia de su recibo a la oficina de los doctores Un dispositivo alimenticio electrónico revela el esquema agudo de una botella del champú Don' t me dice you' re sorprendida Sus ojos le traicionan Batido hacia fuera la puerta de atrás tenga gusto de una celebridad ocultada de los paparazzis Alguien ha dado ya un apodo a esta operación de menor importancia La memoria reprimida es la que está recordada mejor Pescado de su ser como el ambergris de un cráneo de la ballena Represente al perito del agua el arrugar de su nariz en su unremarkableness mítico En alguna parte, el asiento trasero de un tempo del vado está desbordando con las cestas de lavadero plásticas quebradas

    • PARA PLI BONA: "Ensakiganta la Manoj de la Kato"

      Wed, October 28, 2009 - 7:45 PM
      La malforta anticipo de klaŭno ekestiĝita de de malgranda aŭto sur stilt kruroj
      Obsessively compulsively imaganta la malimplikanta
      Preskaŭ mola fiŝo hoko unspools
      Li levas lian malpuraĵon super la malpuraĵo
      gagging sur tiu Sanktulo Kristoforo medalo kiel seka glutanta gigantan B vitamino por la unua tempo
      ĝi estas la timo kiu estas la pep foriganta la nescion de la rezulto kiu okazos ŝatas ĝi estas okazanta denove
      ĉi tiu bankedo de eterna surprizo jam malferma libro
      Li senkonscie alportas kopion de lia kvitanco al la doktora oficejo
      elektronika nutra aparato rivelas la akran skizon de ŝampua botelo

      Ne diras mi vi estas surprizita
      Viaj okuloj perfidas vin

      Elkirlita la malantaŭa pordo kiel famulo kaŝita de la paparazzi
      Iu jam donis kromnomon al ĉi tiu negrava operacio
      La subpremita memoro estas la unu memoris plej bone
      Fiŝkaptita de lia estado kiel ambergris de balena kranio

      Bildo la akva fajngustulo sulkanta lian nazon ĉe ĝia legenda unremarkableness
      Ie, la malantaŭa seĝo de ford takto estas superfluanta kun rompita plasta lavadejo korboj

Recent topics in "Bad Poets' Society"

Topic Author Replies Last Post
Another volunteer? Timbozo 13 May 4, 2009
What makes a poem "bad"? Daniel 12 April 5, 2009
Brown Cow Tao Eric Ashford 3 April 4, 2009
Dating Game? Timbozo 5 March 22, 2009
Abused words: "Azure" Timbozo 2 March 8, 2009